Need a wine prophet? Got one for you

[Jenise]

It's this jerk:

http://jonathancristaldi.com/

I'll come back and add a link to his latest POS article on champagne posted on FoodandWine.com.

Isn't he precccciiiiouuuuus!

Oh, look, he has red sneakers with no shoelaces! And he's using a living human being (who just coincidentally happens to be a woman) as a table! What a cutting-edge cultural leader he is; I must follow him devoutly.

(Just as soon as I'm done retching into this here dustbin of history.)