Table Setting Etiquette Question

So a small point I'd agree, but an annoying one to a perfectionist, and no amount of searching through Emily Post etc. seems to reveal the answer.

So you have a long dining table with guests arrayed on either long side. You also have a pair of candelabra, with three candles in each. What is the proper orientation for the candelabra - facing (i.e. the candelabra at right angles so all three candles are visible) to the ends of the table, or arranged in line so the people on the sides of the table see three, not one candle in each?

Enquiring minds want to know? My wife asked me and I didn't have a good answer for her.

No one at either end of the table?

No, big table that can seat 14 and we have 8 so four on each side. Trying to avoid the old English movie scenario with Mr at one end, Mrs at the other and servant running stuff back and forth!

No, big table that can seat 14 and we have 8 so four on each side. Trying to avoid the old English movie scenario with Mr at one end, Mrs at the other and servant running stuff back and forth!

Yeah, nothing says "bad relationship" like a very long table with a husband at one end and a wife at the other.

Just so I have this right, you're asking if the candelabra should be in line with the long sides of the table or the short sides?

Just so I have this right, you're asking if the candelabra should be in line with the long sides of the table or the short sides?

Precisely!

Well, I've hunted all the usual sources and also came up empty-handed. Part of the problem is that a Victorian table would be set with an epergne -- a centerpiece with attached candelabra arms -- so there was no need to develop an etiquette around the placement of straight-line three-arm candelabra.

My hunch is that the arms go with the length of the table, not across it, for two reasons: firstly, it is better for the flow of the table decor, a topic broached by Mrs. Beeton, and, secondly, in case your table is not especially wide, you must take care that the table decor does not intrude on guests' conversation or lines of sight to each other.

[Jenise]

Since Jeff did the instruction search, I went looking for examples in Google Images. Found many formal dinners at Buckingham Palace, as expected, but they were no help: their candelabras (with ugly little shades) are all foursomes, so the same from every angle.

Among linear style candelabras, MOST of the time, the candelabra's were positioned in line with the short sides of the table (see picture below). The only exception I saw was where small candelabras were placed either side of a center floral arrangement and where they did not impede diners' views of each other across the table.

tablesetting-17.jpg

The one older source I found stated that the candelabras were to go halfway between the centerpiece and each end of the table, but did not mention their orientation. There seem to be conflicting issues here. I tend to go along with Jeff in thinking that keeping them in line with the long sides of the table flows better. On the other hand. some will have a candelabra between themselves and the person across the table from them. Maybe this didn't matter for old-style formal dinners as the hostess was supposed to insure that you were seated next to folks you would want to converse with, so there would be no need to talk across the table to someone?

Thanks, people.

This arose when my wife queried me when we were setting the table and (unusually) I didn't have a good answer for her. Glad I wasn't just being obtuse when I didn't know which way (if any) was 'correct'. Figured for sure I'd be able to find the answer in some Victorian guide somewhere.

Maybe I'll put one candelabra going one way and the other, the other way and listen to the ensuing discussion to see if there is a consensus! Assuming they notice.....

PS - the candelabras in question are these below. They are adaptable - the finisher in the centre allows use of only two candles (not sure why you'd want to) and you can also remove the whole upper section to leave a pair of candlesticks for single candles - I could go that way but refuse to do so just because I can't decide which way the 3 candle versions should orientate!

PPS - did you know that the removable 'drip guard' that fits into the socket at end of each arm is called a bobeche?

PPPS - that reminds me of a song from the late 50s by the Edsels - 'Rama lama bobeche....'

Nice silver!

Yes, we have several different styles of bobeches at my house. We've just recently swapped-out the blue cut crystal ones for the seasonally-appropriate delicate glass ones with etched snowflakes.

I figured out that these candlesticks are 6 way!

1 - bases only
2 - base with small plain candle holder that sockets in - raises it a couple of inches
3 - intermediate section added
4 - same as 3 but remove fancy bobeche and stick in the plain tulip
5 - add arms with three candles
6 - put finials in centre candle spot and just use two candles

Your glass bobeshes are the more typical material and make a considerable change in impression. I guess you get the silver variants mostly with silver candlesticks.

I seem to have a slew of candlesticks around - including one simple oak one made by an ancestor from a ship wrecked in the Great Lakes in 1812 (haven't researched whether it was owned by, or sunk by the perfidious ex-colonials to our South) and scavenged for wood to make the candlestick a century later.

(see picture below)

Those are four-arm candelabra.

(see picture below)

Those are four-arm candelabra.

Plus the centre for a total of five candles per assembly. Those extravagant Royals and their over the top candle budget! Probably set in stone in the palace budget log back in the 19th century when candles were a primary source of light, before gaslighting took over..

Those extravagant Royals and their over the top candle budget! Probably set in stone in the palace budget log back in the 19th century when candles were a primary source of light, before gaslighting took over..

While looking up your candelabra question, I stumbled across a very interesting explanation as to why it was sometimes recommended to darken the wicks on new candles (i.e., light them briefly):

When electric lighting first came to the home it was, as is every innovation, kinda expensive. You might have dinner guests who could not afford electric lights and who, therefore, ate dinner by candelight. Thus, you would show that you use your candles, too, so as not to make them feel self-conscious about extending a return invitation to you.

Jeff - interesting etiquette note - I made sure to pre-blacken the wicks before Jenise arrived to avoid making her feel self conscious!

And the unanimous response to the question of which way the candelabras should go is along the length of the table, not across.

Jeff - interesting etiquette note - I made sure to pre-blacken the wicks before Jenise arrived to avoid making her feel self conscious!

You're a gracious host, Bill. (I know Jenise actually eats by the light of an Edison bulb attached to her stationary bike but, clearly, we are all accustomed to her pedalling throughout the meal.)

[Jenise]

Jeff - interesting etiquette note - I made sure to pre-blacken the wicks before Jenise arrived to avoid making her feel self conscious!

You're a gracious host, Bill. (I know Jenise actually eats by the light of an Edison bulb attached to her stationary bike but, clearly, we are all accustomed to her pedalling throughout the meal.)