For your amusement

[Jenise]

Josh Raynolds' reviews of two new Chuck Wagner releases:


2016 Elouan Pinot Noir. 56 points
Sickly sweet and disturbingly viscous in texture, with a finish that, unfortunately, doesn't want to let up. It was a thankless chore to taste this beverage, which is apparently made from grapes. Just say "no".

2016 Elouan Missoualan Wash Reserve Pinot Noir. 55 points
Even more bilious than its "regular" sibling, with phlegm-like texture and unwelcome finishing power. Thankfully, humans have developed a gag reflex. This one will probably outlive us all so it has that going for it.

Josh Raynolds' reviews of two new Chuck Wagner releases:


2016 Elouan Pinot Noir. 56 points
Sickly sweet and disturbingly viscous in texture, with a finish that, unfortunately, doesn't want to let up. It was a thankless chore to taste this beverage, which is apparently made from grapes. Just say "no".

2016 Elouan Missoualan Wash Reserve Pinot Noir. 55 points
Even more bilious than its "regular" sibling, with phlegm-like texture and unwelcome finishing power. Thankfully, humans have developed a gag reflex. This one will probably outlive us all so it has that going for it.

Well...at least Josh didn't pull his punches. Now I'm tempted to try one.
Tom

The difference "sickly sweet and disturbingly viscous in texture" and a "phlegm-like texture" is just a single point in scores?

Wow, those are quite the reviews. It's very rare to see these nowadays....

Wow, I haven't seen wine prose like that since the mid 1980s, when Robert Parker called Tepusquet Vineyards' cabernet sauvignon "the vinous equivalent of Liquid Plumber" and gave it 52 points. I had the misfortune to taste that wine and Parker was right. I've always wondered what he gave it the two points for.

-Paul W.