WTN: Crypt Keeping

[David M. Bueker]

It’s time for another episode of Tales from the Crypt - the Home Game!

Let’s meet today’s contestant. He’s a varietal wine from Sonoma County in California. Please welcome the 1995 Simi Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve!

The panel of judges is evaluating our contestant. His cork is solid ( ) and his color is pretty darned red; probably from having his cork evaluated. A few sniffs…a sip…our judges are conversing. The tension is as thick as a poorly tended zabaglione.

We have a decision.

“After review, the contestant is not dead.”

Amazing! Johnny, tells us what he’s won.

“The 1995 Simi Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve has won a lifetime supply of toasty oak! Yes, it’s toasty oak by Broyhill. Enjoy using your oak for a dining room table or even a casket! Only from Broyhill!”

Long ago, I used to escort out-of-town visitors to Simi (among other stops) back when Zelma Long was in charge. Wines were generally well-made and not too pricey, but that was about the extent of it. Nice location, though.

[David M. Bueker]

This was a well made wine that just had way too much oak. But that’s the 1990s at a lot of California addresses.

Spit take at “Broyhill.” Perfectly done parody!

[David M. Bueker]

Thank you! I hope you heard the exaggerated announcer voice.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Olson

[David M. Bueker]

Yes!