Einstein is a moron.

A bit of cream cheese,

Sorry, I'm not familiar with that term. Is it anything like a shmear?

Oh, you mean a schmear like these!

http://www.kraftfoods.com/bagelfuls/

Oh, you mean a schmear like these!

http://www.kraftfoods.com/bagelfuls/

Good Lord. I guess it was only a matter of time.
I loved the FAQs on the website.

Where will bagelfuls be available?

How about in HELL?

Oh, you mean a schmear like these!

http://www.kraftfoods.com/bagelfuls/

Good Lord. I guess it was only a matter of time.
I loved the FAQs on the website.

Where will bagelfuls be available?

How about in HELL?

Did anyone notice they have a Cinnamon and brown sugar bagel-ful filled with cinnamon cream cheese.
Sounds delish. Those folks at Kraft certainly know how to cater to my pedestrian taste buds.
'Winger

At the risk of giving away my political leanings, I've known for years why I feared and despised companies and think tanks such as Dow Chemicals and the Rand Corporation. At the risk of giving away my culinary snobbism, I have also known why I fear and hate Kraft. True, Kraft will never destroy the world but they certainly did not add much to our level of culture and civilization with creations such as processed American cheese, Easy Italia, Cool Whip and Kool Aid.

All is well. God will forgive them. God is far more generous than am I.

Best
Rogov

Well, I'm not crazy about lox. And especially for breakfast. So, I'll remain a rebel and eat bagels any way I want to.

[Robin Garr]

Well first off I hate cream cheese. Cannot stand the stuff.

If you're not going to eat that cream cheese, can I have it?

I'm pretty much in the ranks of the keep-it-simple, keep-it-original camp here myself, having discovered bagels as a wide-eyed kid from Kentucky in NYC and Borscht Belt towns like Monticello and Liberty (long story) back in the '60s. Nothing comes close, including probably most 21st Century NYC bagels.

But that said, I am definitely willing to make room in my bagel universe for onion bagels and poppyseed bagels. Wit' cream cheese.

Well first off I hate cream cheese. Cannot stand the stuff.

If you're not going to eat that cream cheese, can I have it?

I'm pretty much in the ranks of the keep-it-simple, keep-it-original camp here myself, having discovered bagels as a wide-eyed kid from Kentucky in NYC and Borscht Belt towns like Monticello and Liberty (long story) back in the '60s. Nothing comes close, including probably most 21st Century NYC bagels.

But that said, I am definitely willing to make room in my bagel universe for onion bagels and poppyseed bagels. Wit' cream cheese.

Onion is a good possibility for inclusion in the bagel family but I don't think poppyseed would ever garner enough votes for confirmation.

[Robin Garr]

Onion is a good possibility for inclusion in the bagel family but I don't think poppyseed would ever garner enough votes for confirmation.

If you're not going to eat that poppyseed bagel, can I have it?

Onion is a good possibility for inclusion in the bagel family but I don't think poppyseed would ever garner enough votes for confirmation.

If you're not going to eat that poppyseed bagel, can I have it?

Just don't eat too many if you're going to get your urine tested: several people have tested positive for opiates as a result (whoo hoo!). On a tangentially related note, one of the weirdest culinary experiences of my life was had while transiting through a train station in Munich. Stopping for a tea time pastry, I espied chocolate strudel in a display case, labelled "Mohnschnitte." I bought a piece, walked away and bit into it... only to get a major mouthful of poppyseeds and honey. Not a flavor I have any problem with, but a major shock to the system when one is expecting dark chocolate. After that initial shock, though, I ate the rest with pleasure. Not long afterward, I too moved to NYC and discovered poppyseed Hamantashen, which proved to be a popular teatime treat for me during my grad school years.

Mark Lipton

Oh, you mean a schmear like these!

http://www.kraftfoods.com/bagelfuls/

Good Lord. I guess it was only a matter of time.
I loved the FAQs on the website.

Where will bagelfuls be available?

How about in HELL?

Ok...that was hysterical John...I really did LOL!

Onion is a good possibility for inclusion in the bagel family but I don't think poppyseed would ever garner enough votes for confirmation.

If you're not going to eat that poppyseed bagel, can I have it?

Just don't eat too many if you're going to get your urine tested: several people have tested positive for opiates as a result (whoo hoo!).

Yeah Mark...a colleague of mine was randomly drug tested once...his test came back positive. He says to me, "well, it came back positive for Marijuana because I eat so many poppy seed bagels". I was like, "no Gary, if it ate too many poppy seed bagels, you would test positive for OPIUM...you tested positive for marijuana because of all the weed you smoke!"

Alright Stuart...I need to keep all these proper names straight now...something that is pizza-like but not a pizza is a "Pizziolatta" and something that is bagel-like, but not a bagel is a "Breadwheel". Got it...you should really start a food dictionary...LOL!

John - I am having a hard time finding good bagels here in NJ too...I used to be able to get great ones. I am also having the same issue with finding a great sub place. I could get the most amazing roast beef subs when I was younger. I can't find any now!

Well first off I hate cream cheese. Cannot stand the stuff.

If you're not going to eat that cream cheese, can I have it?

I'm pretty much in the ranks of the keep-it-simple, keep-it-original camp here myself, having discovered bagels as a wide-eyed kid from Kentucky in NYC and Borscht Belt towns like Monticello and Liberty (long story) back in the '60s. Nothing comes close, including probably most 21st Century NYC bagels.

But that said, I am definitely willing to make room in my bagel universe for onion bagels and poppyseed bagels. Wit' cream cheese.

Why can't you just slice an onion and put in the bagel?

As for the poppy seeds, don't eat them and then take a drug test--unless you want out of the draft. Am I going back in time?

When we have company for breakfast (my son and his friends) sometimes I'll get an assortment, usually plain, poppy, and sesame.

I do like sesame bagels.

There was a Seinfeld episode in which Elaine kept failing her drug test...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shower ... ld_episode)

Frank

Well, I'm not crazy about lox. And especially for breakfast. So, I'll remain a rebel and eat bagels any way I want to.

My preference remains peanut butter and honey, or blackberry jam, on my 'bagel'.
My excuse is I'm NOT Jewish and I'm NOT a Yankee, so the bagel rules don't apply.

Well, I'm not crazy about lox. And especially for breakfast. So, I'll remain a rebel and eat bagels any way I want to.

My preference remains peanut butter and honey, or blackberry jam, on my 'bagel'.
My excuse is I'm NOT Jewish and I'm NOT a Yankee, so the bagel rules don't apply.

I never thought I would say this but we should have let the Confederacy secede from the Union. If you're not a Yankee you don't have a scintilla of good taste? How deplorable to think that way.

South'ners had the good taste to not be born Yankees in the first place. That alone trumps all else.

South'ners had the good taste to not be born Yankees in the first place. That alone trumps all else.

My seconds will contact your seconds and we will settle this as gentlemen should. Scoundrel

My preference remains peanut butter and honey, or blackberry jam, on my 'bagel'.

Common problem where the bagel is mistreated as if it were the same ole plain ordinary sliced bread that people are accustomed to.

I espied chocolate strudel in a display case, labelled "Mohnschnitte." I bought a piece, walked away and bit into it... only to get a major mouthful of poppyseeds and honey. Not a flavor I have any problem with, but a major shock to the system when one is expecting dark chocolate..

That same poppyseed/chocolate shock has happened to me before and it was pretty funny.

Also, on our recent trip to Hungary I espied a vanilla custard eclair in a display case and happily bought one for our train journey. When the time came to eat said eclair, I bit into it to discover that the 'vanilla custard' filling was some sort of salty cheese which I was not prepared for and which I did not find delicious. I tried to calmly and discreetly remove it from my mouth and place it in the garbage but I think the whole train car was snickering at me the silly foreigner and my wife was certainly laughing.

[Robin Garr]

Just don't eat too many if you're going to get your urine tested: several people have tested positive for opiates as a result (whoo hoo!).

I don't do drugs AND I would never work for a company that required drug testing. It's not a matter of opiates, it's a matter of the kind of two-way respect that I require of any employer or client. Of course, that's easy for me to say since I own my own company.

[Robin Garr]

Why can't you just slice an onion and put in the bagel?

Not the same thing, not the same thing at all. The onion topping must be dried onions, and they must be caramelized in the baking oven. Your question, reduced to the absurd, might be, "Why can't you just eat a mouthful of flour and yeast and chase it with a glass of hot water and call it a bagel?"

As for the poppy seeds, don't eat them and then take a drug test--unless you want out of the draft. Am I going back in time?

See above. I have never worked and would never work as an employee or a contractor for a company that so distrusts its employees as to subject them to drug testing ... even though I'm not a drug user. (Even in the USAF in the '60s, drug use was forbidden (HAHAHAHA) but drug testing was unknown.)

Why can't you just slice an onion and put in the bagel?

Not the same thing, not the same thing at all. The onion topping must be dried onions, and they must be caramelized in the baking oven. Your question, reduced to the absurd, might be, "Why can't you just eat a mouthful of flour and yeast and chase it with a glass of hot water and call it a bagel?"

As for the poppy seeds, don't eat them and then take a drug test--unless you want out of the draft. Am I going back in time?

See above. I have never worked and would never work as an employee or a contractor for a company that so distrusts its employees as to subject them to drug testing ... even though I'm not a drug user. (Even in the USAF in the '60s, drug use was forbidden (HAHAHAHA) but drug testing was unknown.)

Well then, re the onion: you aren't seeking a bagel to top with onions; it's an onion legab

In the 60s in NYCity, we learned that you could possibly get out of the draft by claiming on the induction form that you used opiates. Then, they would test you, and if you had enough poppy seeds in your system--voila!

Quite often, however, the ruse didn't work--believe me; I know it didn't always work...sometimes, they kept you overnight on Governor's Island and waited for your withdrawal symptoms. If none came, you were reprimanded and inducted.

Another method was to swallow nutmeg in warm water on the way to the induction station. You'd be hallucinating while at your physical, and until the following day.

Anyone for salted bagels? I love those.

My preferences, from most favorite, to least:

Plain
Sesame seed
Poppy Seed
Salted
Onion

Anyone for salted bagels? I love those.

My preferences, from most favorite, to least:

Plain
Sesame seed
Poppy Seed
Salted
Onion

What. no C-R?
Infidel!

Your question, reduced to the absurd, might be, "Why can't you just eat a mouthful of flour and yeast and chase it with a glass of hot water and call it a bagel?"

Given the crap that some people call "bagels," that can only be an improvement.